What's not to love about Halloween?

Halloween has got to be the best holiday this country has ever chosen to celebrate that doesn't involve getting school off for. Think about it, there are hardly any downsides! If you don't believe me, I'll list off a few of the reasons why I believe this. If you do believe me, then the rest of this post won't show up on your computer screen. Enjoy the Holiday!

Ok, here are just a few of the reasons why Halloween is so great:

• You get to come up with really bad, or interesting costume ideas throughout the year. So, it saves from boredom.
• You get to try to find the ingredients to the interesting costume pie you've created, which (if you're like me) is usually way too complicated, and over priced to make anyway.
• So, you get to come up with a new, realistic idea whenever you figure out that your old idea is too hard to make. Again, more creativity.

If you are like me, you have probably followed all these steps in years past, so:

• You get to make your terrible costume five minutes before you leave your house to the Harvest Party or Trick-Or-Treat fest. This teaches working under pressure, and not to be perfectionists (cuz either way the costume is gonna suck, sorry kids).

Halloween also teaches kids in other ways, like...

• which houses not to go to... so long as they have a good memory.

Once you get to your Harvest/Trick fest you get to:

• Laugh at all the other kids' terrible costumes.

And not to mention all the other obvious ones like free candy from absolute strangers, staying up late eating candy (dressed in your terrible pie costume), and did I mention laughing at your friend's costumes? The only real downsides to Halloween are getting terrible candy, and being laughed at for your terrible costume.

But the goods of Halloween out way the minor bads to Halloween. And besides, bad candy should be expected, you got it from a stranger. *Is this thing on?* You willingly took candy from a stranger, people! Another great thing about Halloween is

• That it is the one day that little line about candy and strangers in those cheesy safety VHS tapes totally gets blown out the window by you and your parents!

Speaking of parents, this is a great holiday for them too! Not only can they send the kinds away for a few hours to walk around with a bunch of creepy people in creepy costumes so that the parents get some peace and quiet, but if the kids say a word before Thanksgiving, the adults can shove the candy in their little mouths to make 'em shut-up. Are you starting to see the benefits of Halloween yet?

Also on the practical side of Halloween is the opportunity to try out a new hair style and not get ridiculed for it (unless it's as bad as the pie costume you made).1 No really, say you want to try a new dew, so you get your hair cut before the Treat-Fest. If it is bad people will say, "Nice Costume," if the dew is a gew, I mean go, they'll say "Nice Haircut." Bingo. You're in. But you have got to know who to show yourself off to in advance, and who's opinion you can actually trust. In other words, don't go up to your grandma and point your new styled head in her direction. Grandmas typically love everything their grandchildren do, and often have less than 20/20 vision. "Hey grandma! It's me; like my haircut?" "Me who? ...Oh, what a nice horse mackerel you've got sitting on your head dear." Again, just don't go to your grandma.

Halloween is great; new treats, new tricks, new cruddy costumes, and horrible hair styles! So can you see now why this ween night is the most "Hallo" out of the holidays? Hey, if nothing else, it got me to work on another drawing on Photoshop.2 Which I know brings delight to all your faces.

Well, I'm gonna' say "bye-bye" to all of you non-believers, and say "Hallo" to the best holiday celebrated in this country that you do not get to have school off for! That's right, Presidents' Day! No; Halloween! Oh yeah, and did I mention that you can laugh at all your friends' costumes?

1 Note: You may actually be ridiculed whether your hair looks good or not.

2 The pumpkin was originally in the shape of a heart. It still kind of looks like one if you look at the outline and minus the green, stemmy party.